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First post in 9 months! December 12, 2009

Posted by Zack in : Uncategorized , comments closed

First post in nine months. Here’s why:

Esther was born May 31. It’s been awesome.

Typically, something as interesting as that would inspire me to write more, not less. But one side effect of Esther’s arrival was that I had to take over some of Elizabeth’s responsibilities to friends in need. She was eight months pregnant but calls kept coming in from refugee families needing help with medical, legal, financial and paperwork emergencies. So I finally crossed the line that I had been resisting for 20 years: I started getting wrapped up in the messy details of other people’s hard lives — as opposed to “organizing” them, or advocating for “policy” to help them.

Finally getting my hands dirty in various hopeless situations stunned me into silence. What it actually did was give me TOO MUCH to say, and left me tongue tied.

For the past 20 years, I witnessed and condemned systemic injustice. I thrived on the drama of “organizing” against it. But I carefully avoided ever getting my hands dirty in the messy business of merely surviving in the face of it. I hope it takes me another 20 years to get over the humiliation of having to admit that.

At the same time, I’m angry in a whole new way about the Democrats bailing out bankers while barely leaving crumbs to people suffering out here. And I’m angry in a whole new way about Christians who say it’s the churches’ responsibility and not the government’s, but who do nothing but donate a little money, or show up somewhere one Saturday morning a year.

See how easy it was for me to go from humiliation to self-righteous anger in two paragraphs? That’s why I’m not fit to be writing publicly.

There’s another reason I can’t write publicly about the stuff I’m doing now though: simple privacy concerns. And it kills me because I’m meeting the most amazing characters. I’ve always talked about “organic leaders” who sustain communities and make the world go ’round. As an organizer, I saw only one of their dimensions up close. I always liked to think my strength was that I knew they had many other dimensions. But I only caught glimpses of those from a distance. Now I’m getting to see all those brilliant, radiant dimensions up close and at length. The American People are fantastic.

OK, so now it’s time for me to shut up again!

I’d like to write a weekly or monthly email to friends, though, and anyone else who’s interested. If you’d like to get those, email me at info@revolutioninjesusland.com or my personal email if you know it.